Unique World Of Maresy

Address to new blog

2011-05-29T15:33:00.001-07:00

http://livefortodaywithnoregrets.blogspot.com/

Change in Blog Address

2011-05-28T15:23:00.001-07:00

I have moved my thoughts, dreams and ideas to a new address. If you would like to join me please do at livefortodaywithnoregrets.blogspot.com.

Thank you for everything!!

Peaceful

2011-04-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

Standing in the middle of tall pine trees staring at the grey sky waiting, hoping, holding my breath. Will it come? And then the first one falls. The tiniest snow flake. Slowing more fall. Hundreds. Thousands. Millions. It quiet. Perfectly quiet. It is not eery. It is not scary. It is perfect. A perfect moment that I have alway loved when I have the chance. Everything is perfect in this perfect moment. The snow slowly falls on and around me. As perfect as each snowflake it, that is how perfect the moment it. I am wishing for this moment now. I am graduating in December and I am starting to get scared. I have to do something now. I have to decide what is next. This goal will be reach in 8 months. There is finally an end and I do not really know how I feel about it. I am trying to find the next school I will be going to as I prepare to get my bachelor's. Part of that, however, is finding where I want to work as a paralegal while I am in school. It is very scary to grow up. I love it though. I can do anything. I have nothing holding me back. The possibilities right now are endless...and I do not know how I feel about it. There is too much that I can do. I am having a hard time deciding what to do. I need snow. I need the peaceful quiet of that first snow fall. I can do it, though. It is a good thing to have options. It is a good thing to grow up. I am a good work in progress and I am loving it. In just a few short months everything will be different. A good different. Luckily I know exactly what that first snow fall is like so as I close my eyes tonight to sleep, I will fall asleep in a perfect quiet as I watch the snowflakes fall around me.

I am cured!

2011-03-29T10:19:00.000-07:00

Hopefully I won't have to retract this post later...but I honestly think I'm cured! For the last many, many years I have been biting my nails. But I think this phase is finally over. 20 days ago I decided that along with no more sugar, I would also give up biting my nails for lent (in support of a few coworkers). Usually when I have tried this my fingers are still in my mouth and I can last a couple of days before jumping downhill. Yes jumping, its never a slow or even fast downhill run, I just skip the whole hill and go right to the bottom. But, I have no desire to bite them now. I will be 26 in exactly a month and I really think its the perfect time to be cured. Yay me!! Now to stop biting my mouth...one step at a time :)

Can't write what you don't know

2011-03-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

I have been working hard on a book that I have had in mind for a while. I was excited to get it done in time for my cousin's wedding so my other cousin could read it...then I hit a block. All three parts are on my wall planned out perfectly. I know exactly what happens to Kaylee in book 1, the exact transfers that take place during DaKota's mission in book 2 and I know Kaiden's birthday and why she is such a miracle baby. I know how its all going, but still couldn't get it on paper. It took me about a week to finally realize why I can't write it. Its not a negative thing...its just that you can't write what you don't know. Kaylee and Kota fall in love in book 1 and more so by letter in book 2. I don't know what that means. I don't know what love it. I can see it in other people but I can't describe that in words. I love my family but that's not the same love Kaylee and DaKota have. Its not a bad thing, I just have to wait to write this one. The same goes for the other one I've been working on too. I can't write what I don't know. It's actually a good thing because I know I'm a good writer, but a good writer knows when not to make something up. You can't make up love. I know what I would like it to be. I've seen enough fairy tales. Part of it though is also the fact that to me its not the next step. Its not my next thing on the check list to check off. If I have to wait until I'm 28 (no I'm NOT mentioning 30 yet) to fall in love for real then I'll wait for it. Yes, I do believe that there are some LDS girls and guys who have gotten married because that's what is next. I won't do that. If I offend I do apologize, but I am allowed to have my opinion. Too many people are not getting married for real love, its the idea of being in love and doing what's next. I can't write about that. I can't write about finding someone who you like to hang out with and how easy it is to say "I love you"-I did it. But that's not what I want for Kaylee and DaKota. They aren't like that. They fall in love. They have a fairytale. The idea of a fairytale is not dead. Getting married is one of the things that are up next, but I'm not going to marry the first guy who asks so I can say "Checked that off--on to kids." That's not love to me. That's not happiness to me. I could very easily write Kaylee's feelings to be how mine were with Tony. Kaylee would also end up being extremely miserable because she never was really in love. I said "I love you" to Tony and he said it back. It felt good to say it to someone and to have someone say it back. But they were just words. When I can say in my head while I am saying those words out loud "I wish he was prince charming" or "how am I going to see my family once we're married" then its not love at all. You always here the stories of people who had arranged marriages and how after a few years they fell in love. I'm not cool with that. It worked for them but it won't for me. I'm a huge romantic. If I get married its because I can't live without him. I love my mom's reaction every time my dad goes out of town-upset. She can't live without him. I really don't like when men go out of town and the wife is like "finally now I can do this and that" or "I'm going out of town with my girlfriends because I need sometime away from my husband"--oh my depressing!! I might be expecting too much and maybe that's why it hasn't happened...I am perfectly fine with that. This isn't on my To Do list. It's not on Kaylee and DaKota's either. I know exactly how the book will go. I know how each part with come to life. The moment I know what love feels like is the moment Kaylee and DaKota will know. I'm not faking this in real life or in my character's lives. Its real in both worlds and I think I want to write what I know.

My bad...

2011-01-30T17:28:00.000-08:00

Sorry Rhys! I spelled his name wrong!!

80 reasons to be happy

2011-01-29T09:06:00.000-08:00

Danette, Kelly, Kelsey, Judy, Marlin, Avon, Quinn, Whitney, Harry, Marlin, Margot, Sorena, Chris, Jeanene, Dan, Michael, Linette, Jared, Melanie, Cindy, Paul, Gheen, Beth, Mandee, Merritt, Ashlee, Bryce, Ryne, Dustin, Mickenna, Marissa, Skyler, Quincee, Karsyn, Jordan, Kage, Jake, Alexis, Brianne, Emily, Samantha, Lindsey, Camille, Christopher, Nicolas, Andrew, Madison, Ethan, Tyler, Caleb, Grace, Katherine, Asher, Ryse, Ari, Bram, Charles, Hannah, Noah, Bradeigh, Evan, Megan, Brittney, Vance, Austin, Andrew, Marc, Tyler, Emily, Anne, Stephanie, Isaac, Simon, Calvin, Oliver, Alex, Sam, Maggie, Vaun and Jolene.

Strength to Keep Going

2011-01-26T07:06:00.000-08:00

Last night I got a message on facebook from a not so nice girl. She's the ex of Gustavo, a guy I was dating for a few months last fall. I'm not pasting exactly what she said because she doesn't use nice language but one the part I'm focusing on was that she said it was nice to finally get a picture to a face and see that there was nothing she ever had to worry about because I was fat, ugly and a desperate white girl. I tried to let it roll off, but ended up going out to the kitchen to ask my dad to sing me to sleep. It helped that I was crying, but I think he wouldn've known something was wrong anyways. It's not everyday a 25 year old asks her dad to sing her to sleep. We had a long conversation, my mom included, about me and that I'm beautiful. Of course they have to say that-they're my parents. My dad even said other people have said it. I went through the "GG doesn't count and adults who are married dont' count." My mom told me about a Dr. Phil episode that caught her eye the otherday when two ladies were fighting and one brought up an issue the other one and Dr. Phil called it "going for the jugular." Well, that's exactly how I felt about Chez saying things about my weight. I have slipped a little the last few weeks, but I have been trying. I lost 25 pounds at one point and I know I can do it again. But more than that I think the situation is what hurt too. Gustavo is a very attractive man and he just one day bolted. At first I thought I wasn't pretty enough for him to stay, but then got my act together and decided I didn't want to be with someone like that. I have been doing really good for the past 3 months. Then last night happened and I couldn't help but ask it again. My mom was so good to remind me that I was in a better place without him and I knew that.
Last night I decided that if anyone wants to call me fat-they can-AFTER they ride 60 miles in El Tour de Tucson. They can call me ugly-AFTER they go to a doctor and surgically get the same blue color eyes I have. They can call me desperate-AFTER they work full time and go to school full time for 2 years and become a paralegal.
This morning I was thinking a lot about the "desperate" side of that messge. Am I? I want to get married. I want to have kids. I sometimes worry that I won't ever get a chance again. But NO I am not. I have to go back to my goals and what I want to do and what I need to do. I am here for a reason. The Lord knows that if I was married I wouldn't finish school. There is a reason that I need to. Maybe I'll be US superior judge. Maybe I'll just be an amazing lawyer. Maybe I need to go into international law because I need to take that trip to Italy because that's where my husband is. Maybe I just need a job that allows me to care for my family because something is going to happen to my husband. Or maybe, just maybe, I have something to learn. The Lord knows all. Some people get married quick. Some people have lots of kids. Some people get married later. Some people only have a couple or no kids at all. But the situation does not make you who you are. We become who we want to be by being who we want to become ever day. Everyday I wake is a day I can make myself better, is a day I can be proud of myself, is a day I can say that the Lord is proud of me.
My name is Maryn and I am talented, smart, funny, beautiful, caring, reliable, responsible, and loving. I have the most wonderful parents, sister and family in the world. I am 2 semesters away from finishing school--the first part. I am proud of who I am becoming and everyday I am striving to be what I want to become.
I have the strength to keep going. I dare anyone to call me fat, ugly or desperate again. It gives me more strength to keep going because I don't need to tear other people down to feel good about myself. It gives me the strength the pray for others because I fell sad that they don't have the support that I do or the strength to try and do better for themselves everyday.
I know I will slip, everyone has a bad day, but in the end I also know I will always do what I can to be a better me because that is why I am here.
A special thanks goes to my mom and dad for letting me cry and for still helping me laugh by the end of the night. Even if I do want to go see the Great Barrier Wall :)

Gantuya Ganbat

2010-10-27T08:29:00.001-07:00

I served with Gantuya in San Francisco. She was a firecracker. No fear was the way she worked the mission. She would stop 20 people to some of our 5. We were in Novato at the same time and went to a farmer's market to have a booth with information about the church. She would follow people as they shopped to tell them about the church. She wanted everyone to be as happy as she was. She was an inspiration to all of us on the mission. She continued to be happy and an inspiration. Last night she passes away after being in the hospital for reasons I don't know. She will continue to be an inspiration.
It made me think a lot. Life is way to short. I didn't keep in touch with her very often. I don't really keep in touch with many people. One day they or I could be gone. But it is a two way street. You also can't keep in touch with every person you've ever met. I guess it comes down to those who have made you better and have inspired you to be a better person.
It also made me think about what I'm doing. I hate being out of breath and being sore from riding the bike...but now is the time for me to finish the tour. If I keep waiting to do things until tomorrow, tomorrow may never come. I have wanted to write a book for so long. I keep working on different things but never finish.
TODAY is the day. TODAY is here. TODAY is now. Don't wait to write that e-mail to someone you've been thinking about. Don't wait to make a dream come true. TODAY is your time!

HELP WANTED

2010-09-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

In January I will no longer be employed at my job because they are not willing to allow me to take a 10-12 am class on Mon and Wed. If you know of anything...please let me know. I am willing to give my 2 weeks at anytime between now and Jan. I am looking for something that will work with this class and mostly secretarial work-with a lawyer would be a plus. Please let me know if you hear of anything.

Thank you!!

30 Miles!!

2010-09-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

I rode 30 miles today! Yeah! I am so excited and so proud of myself. I'm getting there...El Tour is in 11 weeks and I have to get up to 60+ miles. Dad and I went out today and he is a great coach--very patient :) Next year I want to have a family affair and have my mom go too. I'm excited!! This year it will by my dad and I int he 60+ with possibly my aunt Beth joining us and uncle Gheen possibly in the 100+. I'm not ready for that one yet...but I'm getting there :) I feel very proud and super excited. LOL Kind of dorky, yeah?

This is (horrifically) interesting

2010-07-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

Anne Rice leaves Christianity
Legendary author Anne Rice has announced that she’s quitting Christianity.
The “Interview with a Vampire” author, who wrote a book about her spirituality titled "Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession" in 2008, said Wednesday that she refuses to be “anti-gay,” “anti-feminist," “anti-science” and “anti-Democrat.”
Rice wrote, “For those who care, and I understand if you don't: Today I quit being a Christian ... It's simply impossible for me to ‘belong’ to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten years, I've tried. I've failed. I'm an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.”
Rice then added another post explaining her decision on Thursday:
“My faith in Christ is central to my life. My conversion from a pessimistic atheist lost in a world I didn't understand, to an optimistic believer in a universe created and sustained by a loving God is crucial to me," Rice wrote. "But following Christ does not mean following His followers. Christ is infinitely more important than Christianity and always will be, no matter what Christianity is, has been or might become.”

**Since when was Christianity something about followers...isn't it about following Christ? If you feel Christianity is about being anit-gay or whatever...isn't that because Christ has said that "marriage between a man and a woman"? What does it have to do with being apart of Christianity. She has it completely wrong.

This is for Maggie and Me

2010-06-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

6 words. Alaska. China. 24. 2. Surprise. Plan. These words actually have 1 word in common- Adoption. I was born in Alaska and by a surprising turn of events my parents adopted me and helped me in their arms for the first time when I was 24 hours old. My cousin, Maggie, was born in China and after years of paperwork and planning, my aunt and uncle adopted her when she was nearly 2 years old.

I know many desire a child of their own, and it is an experience to celebrate when it happens. But, there are children who do not have parents of their own. Some are abandoned, some given up because of lack of care, some put up for adoption because of a law in a country while some have lost their parents to tragedy.

Thousands of these kids are put into some sort of system of foster homes, orphanages, or group homes on a daily basis. These systems give shelter, food, and clothing but are unable to give a home, guidance to life and the love a child needs.

Adoption give these kids the chance to feel special, imports. To feel that someone wants them and wants to love them. Infants are fairly easy to get adopted-I mean really, who can refuse those chubby little cheeks? Older children, however, can be difficult because they can remember where they've been, their biological families, what has happened. Does this mean they don't need a family and love? Of course not. In the news a couple months ago was the story of a woman who put her 7 year old son on a plane (she had adopted him a few month previous) back to Russia to annul the adoption because she felt he was an angry child. A few months is not enough time for a 7 year old to bond with his new mother or to even feel comfortable in a completely new country. A mother cannot annul her pregnancy because her infant is a sickly baby. These children need patience, care and most importantly love!

Adoption, if you can have children of your own or not, is an absolutely wonderful way to give a child what they need. I needed a family, I have an amazing family. Maggie needed a family and heart surgery. She has her family wrapped around her finger and is doing extremely well after surgery. But it goes the other way too. My parents wanted a child and they got one. My aunt and uncle wanted to add a daughter and they now have Maggie.

The common ground? Family. Family give a support system, gives memories, gives love, gives laughs, gives life. Maybe you didn't have the perfect childhood, maybe you don't currently have a family-this could be your choice or not, but shouldn't these children have a choice as well? Shouldn't they be given the change to know what it means to wake up from a nightmare to be embraced by loving arms of a parents to wants them? Shouldn't they have the chance to know what its like to come home from school and show a project to a family who will display it on the refrigerator with pride?

Children who are in this system of foster home, orphanages, group homes were not given a choice. Whatever reason they are in the situation, it is not because they wanted to be there.
Every child deserves a home, a family and love. Period.

**this was my persuasive speech.

On my way!!

2010-06-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

I did it! Today I went running! 7 months after tearing my ACL. I've never been a fan of running, but I would like to be. It felt really good to finally do something other than elliptical. The elliptical is awesome...but I wanted to try something a little more challenging. Felt amazing!! Tomorrow will be another amazing day...SWIMMING! I can't wait. I'm on my way to a full recovery and new life style :)

I got an A

2010-06-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

Last night I gave my first speech in my public speaking class. I am very proud of it...it was the most talked about after class. :) So I thought I would share it! (Thanks have to be given to my mom for listening to me struggle through it and finding where things could be written better.)

One...two...three...Breathe. One...two...three...Breathe. The most calming sounds in my head. No, this isn't a way for me to focus on my public speaking assignment, rather to focus on a race. A swim to be exact. Quite a few people feel that swimming is not a sport. Its a reason to vacation, party, relax, suntan. But for the others is a way of life, a way to relieve stress, a way to experience a perfect moment.
Swimming clears the head. There is not better sound than the water crashing against your body. This clearing of the head and these sounds do not come from an enjoyable playtime in the backyard pool, it comes from the training for a race. Lap by lap. You and the water.
For those who swim competitively, they will each have a stroke or method of of gliding themselves through the water. Butterfly, breastroke, backstroke, freestyle. Each gives a different focus, a different moment.
Butterfly give a confident powerful feeling. Being able to explode yourself out of the water with your legs and leading yourself smoothly back under with your arms is an empowering experience. You can't help but feel confident after swimming 100 meters of this extremely difficult technical stroke.
Breaststroke, like Butterfly, is technical. Technical in timing. The perfect timing of a kick before and after the pull of the arms. I never got the timing. To me this stroke is frustrating and does not give a very good moment, that is why there is a stroke for every swimmer.
Even in the highest stakes of competition, backstroke gives the swimmer a relaxed feeling. Looking up into a bright blue sky, the swimmer can't help but get caught up in the moment.
Freestyle, my perfect moment, is the true stroke of swimming. Without it, the other three can't exist. Butterfly and breaststroke are technical. Backstroke you have to count so to not hit your head on the wall. Freestyle, is just that. Free. Free of thinking. Free of technicality. A 25 meter 1 lap of the pool is quick but a a completely new experience. Calm. Collected. Perfect. A 500 meter 20 laps with 19 flip turns is a whole new reality. Your dizzy, confused, exhausted. But those 15 minutes? That's a perfect moment.
Swimming isn't easy. Like any other sport endurance must be reached. An endurance in your legs to be strong when bending at the knee or being straight depending on the stroke.You must be able to propel yourself through each lap. You can't get to the other side with only your legs, so your arms must be able to pull you, move the water out of the way. Breathing is not the automatic in and out action of an intake of air. Rather, your lungs must be taught a different rhythm. Long exhale and a quick inhale. The need of strength in ones arms, legs and lungs is essential in this wonderful sport.
There is a joke among competitive swimmers that we don't do well with land sports. This came true for me in November. While playing soccer I tore my ACL, a ligament in my knee, and struggled to walk and was told not to swim. While on a cruise in Mexico I decided to try and swim again. It felt really good. I could bend my knee relatively well. Then I feel down stairs when my knee gave out. I tried to swim again and it didn't work. The pain was remarkable. In January I had surgery to replace the ACL and was told not to run or swim for 5 months. Tomorrow I will swim again. Tomorrow I will once again experience that perfect moment.

5 minutes and 100% :)

Now to figure out my persuasive speech....

Where to begin???

2010-05-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! So much to do and absolutely no time to do it! Let's see...the diet thing is...going. The habits are changing and that's all I can really ask for right now. I'm at 213 and staying so I think that's a good sign. I'm not going up. I'm sure going down will become faster now that I am done with school for the summer. Well, not entirely. I have two classes this summer but only one night a week so it'll help with riding again. I'm also going to get my swim on...it's been a while but I am going to do it! I went to a swim party the other day at my Bishop's house and it was amazing to be in a pool again. I haven't since the surgery and the last time I was in a pool was on the cruise. It's so different when the water splashes around as the boat is moving, and you're watching it move, and you're feeling sick, you want dry land but you can't get off the "rocking" boat to hit dry land so you just watch the water and run to your room. Anyone for a cruise? (PS I know its a major run-on...but what fun would this blog be if I had to have perfect pulished editing going on?) So...anyways...I'm going to get back to swimming on land where the water only moves when and where I want it to move. PLUS my parents got me a waterproof MP3 player that I'm DYING to try out. Aren't they the coolest people ever?! Speaking of the coolest people ever...they are so not cool right now because they are in HAWAII and where am I? In Tucson, in an office, NOT ON THE BEACH! But I am way excited for them. They went bike riding down a VOLCANO yesterday? Hello! Totally fun! So the last time they went on a trip it was on the cruise...2 years later we went on a cruise...I'm just sayinghey need to keep a list of things to do cause tradition can't be disturbed. Although...now that I think of it in 2 years I'll be graduated and we're going to Europe. A stop in Hawaii maybe? Oh! So about school. I finished my first semester in the paralegal program. AMAZING!! I decided to take a few summer courses so I will graduate 3 semesters early...that's a year and a half! So not this Christmas but 2011 I will be done! I am so excited. I can't stand school...but surprisingly enough I like what I am doing now so it will change (for the rest of the program and the I AM DONE!)
Well, now that I have rambled, blabbed, and bored everyone to tears, I had better get back to work.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND! I know my parents will!

213

2010-05-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

:) Yep yep. Down three from my birthday. I did an hour on the elliptical last night. I thought I was going to die! I thought about it more afterward because I did an hour...which means I can do an hour...which means I am going to expect myself to do an hour again. Maybe for most that doesn't seem like a long time...but it's a long time. We're doing good. We're doing very good!!

This has gone WAAAYYY too far!

2010-05-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

This article is from MSN this morning from San Francisco.

Students Kicked Off Campus for Wearing American Flag Tees
On any other day at Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill, Daniel Galli and his four friends would not even be noticed for wearing T-shirts with the American flag . But Cinco de Mayo is not any typical day especially on a campus with a large Mexican American student population.
Galli says he and his friends were sitting at a table during brunch break when the vice principal asked two of the boys to remove American flag bandannas that they wearing on their heads and for the others to turn their American flag T-shirts inside out. When they refused, the boys were ordered to go to the principal's office.
"They said we could wear it on any other day," Daniel Galli said, "but today is sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it's supposed to be their holiday so we were not allowed to wear it today."
The boys said the administrators called their T-shirts "incendiary" that would lead to fights on campus.
"They said if we tried to go back to class with our shirts not taken off, they said it was defiance and we would get suspended," Dominic Maciel, Galli's friend, said.
The boys really had no choice, and went home to avoid suspension. They say they're angry they were not allowed to express their American pride. Their parents are just as upset, calling what happened to their children, "total nonsense."
"I think it's absolutely ridiculous," Julie Fagerstrom, Maciel's mom, said. "All they were doing was displaying their patriotic nature. They're expressing their individuality."
But to many Mexican-American students at Live Oak, this was a big deal. They say they were offended by the five boys and others for wearing American colors on a Mexican holiday.
"I think they should apologize cause it is a Mexican Heritage Day," Annicia Nunez, a Live Oak High student, said. "We don't deserve to be get disrespected like that. We wouldn't do that on Fourth of July ."
As for an apology, the boys and their families say, "fat chance."
"I'm not going to apologize. I did nothing wrong," Galli said. "I went along with my normal day. I might have worn an American flag, but I'm an American and I'm proud to be an American."
The five boys and their families met with a Morgan Hill Unified School District official Wednesday night. The district released a statement saying it does not agree with how Live Oak High School administrators handled this incident.
The boys will not be suspended and they were told they can go back to school Thursday. They may even wear their red, white, and blue colors again, but this time, the day after Cinco de Mayo , there will be no controversy.

Okay...ARE YOU SERIOUS???? San Francisco is in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! Of course they can wear their american flag shirts. It is not disrespectful. I have seen plenty of hispanics fly their colors on the 4th of July...it was HUGE in Redwood City, CA. But did anyone get in trouble for that...of course not because that would be Racist. Only one state in Mexico even celebrates the victory of the Mexican army over the French Army. The United States does celebrate to honor the ancestry of Mexican Americans...we also celebrate St. Patrick's Day and the Chinese New Year. But you don't see kids getting thrown out of school because they're wearing Red, White and Blue on these holidays. Maybe pinched on March 17th but not suspended.
I love the Hispanics. But OH MY GOODNESS I have about had it! If you are coming to an AMERICAN country then you must respect that. You are here...you chose to be here...this is AMERICA where FREEDOM reins and we should not be getting in trouble for being PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN. It is not disrespectful to wear an American shirt when you are an American...it's disrespectful to expect someone to hide their PRIDE because it is a holiday your country doesn't even recognize.
Okay..I think I'm good.
I would just like to say...I AM AMERICAN AND PROUD!

Don't Be Frustrated

2010-04-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So frustrating! I am now at my heaviest...216.5. Dad says part of it is because I'm building muscle so that is going to way more for a bit. Plus, I'm not 100% at a good eating habit yet. Kelsey and I had to have shakes last week during our Gilmore Girl Marathon. So I do have to work on that. I have to be extra careful this weekend, birthdays always mean birthday treats. I can do this. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS! It will pay off in the end. I know it will. The exercise routine is down pretty good so now its to the food. Oh food is sooo good. The best new thing I've found is the Weight Watchers 10 calorie jello :) Yummy stuff. I'll be good all day everyday...with a treat because whatever mom has planned tonight I am not giving up!

Seriously?!?!?!?

2010-04-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

A conversation I had today at work....

"I would like to reschedule my appt. with Dr. ***"
"Would you like that for morning or afternoon?"
"Afternoon at 2:30."
"Okay my first available is June 1st."
"What day of the week is that?"
"That would be a Tuesday."
"Tuesday June 1st."
"That is correct."
"Is that the first Tuesday of the month?"

hmmmmmm.....

Amazing!

2010-04-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up to signs all over the house. (I need to take pictures) My mom had put up signs motivating Kelsey and I to keep going. Last night I was doing leg lifts while we were watching Glee and at one point I said "this isn't worth it." Laughing...but at the same time feeling that it was true. My legs are still burning...but when I woke up there was a sign that said it's worth it and will pay off in the end. That helped feel prepared for tonight. We are also the BOMB and we ROCK! Isn't she the cutest thing ever?! Kelsey is doing amazing! It's really fun for us to talk about what we've done and to have rewards at the end of the week...Gilmore Girls marathon :) I will admit I haven't been riding. My bum hurts! I have no motivation to get back on that thing...but I will. I really want to ride in the tour. I think maybe the 109 mile is too big of a goal. I'm going to go for the 35 miles and but go past that as much as possible and if I can I'll ride the big one but I'm doing the tour no matter what. I think that's a pretty good goal. I have to start somewhere. I'm so grateful for all the support and encouraging words I have had. I know that being healthy is important and I want to get there...but sometimes its just so much easier to just sit on the recliner and watch TV or read a book and do nothing else. However, I will keep going because in the end it is always better to sit on the recliner and watch TV because I just finished a work out routine. It will pay off!

214

2010-04-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

Slow and steady wins the race. Well...I'm not doing as well as Kelsey, but I can't compare myself. I'm doing the best I can and am getting the eating habits down to a good score. I have to start somewhere. As long I do all I can then I can't beat myself up. Let's see how this week goes! It's been a slow start...I made the mistake of getting a killer sunburn and blisters at Country Thunder. It was a blast...but now I'm seriously paying for it. But it's okay because I'm getting back into the groove. Just doing the best I can!

Almost didn't make it...

2010-04-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

Today was hard. Very hard to get out of bed. I almost didn't want to ride the bike because my bum hurts! Plus, sleeping sounded way too good. So I did sleep in...and then I remembered the blog and I got up and rode anyways. It wasn't as long as I would have normally done, but it was better than nothing. Amazingly enough I feel better that I did it. So far I've been doing really good. Eating well, and exercising everyday. Yesterday I worked on my legs with the band, did more cruntches, the elliptical, and push ups. Tonight when I get home we'll do it all again. I love when I get to the cruntches part and the band for my arms. They are my favorite. :) My only issue is that I weighed this morning and I gained a pound...not really the motivation I was looking for. But it has to get better...right?

215

2010-04-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

My way of accomplishing a goal is to completely and utterly embarass myself...apparently. The number? My weight. Horrifying that I'm even writing it down. But, I have a goal to accomplish and I need somewhere to write it. If I am going to allow people to read my books then I might as well start by having people read my most embarassing moment because then anything else really won't be that big of a deal. I am going to be 25 at the end of the month and at my heaviest. Depressing. Now...my reasoning to lose weight. I'm already too cute for words...so that's not it at all. :) But my health is the big reason. My eating habits are triggering pretty bad migraines and I think my lack of exercise is also causing them. They are getting more and more intense and for anyone who knows me...I am a baby when it comes to pain. I am not a doctor to say if this is true or not...but I am hoping that with the exercise and eating differently I will also lose the painful experience of being a woman too. My circulation isn't all that great. I've been finding that my hands and feet tend to tingle a lot especially when I wake up in the morning. I don't sleep very well, and haven't for a while. It has nothing to do with my sleeping arrangments, I just don't sleep well. I'm hoping that a strong exercise routine and changing my eating will help with this.
I have never been small, and that's not what I'm going for. A size 4 or even a 6 for me is not realistic. I have birthing hips (gotta carry those quadruplets somehow haha) and so small isn't my goal. My goal is healthy. We're going to set the goal for 12:01 Jan 1, 2011 to weigh in at 160. This is about 10 over what I should be for my height and age...but I have to start somewhere and it'll be nice to say that by April 29, 2011 when I turn 26 I'll be at my ideal weight. Obviously I need a challenging goal and I am going to shoot for 160 and we'll see if I can blow past that by New Year's. I am for the most part extremely happy with where I am right now. I am happy with who I am, I am happy with what I have accomplished to this point and my career that I am heading towards now. I am not, however, happy with the way my health is. I have all the time now to deal with this and get the habits taken care of. I don't want to be struggling to keep up with my kids or struggeling to learn good habits when I'm running around working 60 hours a week for a lawyer. I have time now to learn, grow, and accomplish my goal and even time to learn how to maintain that goal before things get even more crazy. I probably won't talk to anyone who sees this for a while...because well...I am very embarassed. This is, however, a killer kick in the pants because every Monday when I post the weight I only want it to go down. I'm not typing in a higher weight for fear of crying of embarassment when I do it.
Today was good. I rode for 30 minutes on the bike and then after school I did 100 cruntches on en exercise ball (I'm going to get back to my swimming land workout if it kills me-5,000 cruntches), 10 push ups (I was never good at those even when I was swimming) and worked out my biceps and triceps and then did 15 minutes on the elliptical. I'll be able to get swimming into the mix once school is over. I just don't have the time. I know that doesn't seem like a lot of exercise...but I'm doing something right now, and my eating habits will have to carry the rest right now until I have more time in my day. You have to start somewhere. I've started here...and I tend to keep this going. There is a light at the end of this tunnel...I'll be swimming again in no time AND I am going to ride in El Tour De Tucson this year AND I will be happy with the way I feel--HEALTHY!!!!
I hope everyone has a good week! Keep checking back as I will keep this going. Let me know you're reading it...my embarassment will keep me going :)

:)

2010-02-01T07:45:00.001-08:00

THEY HAVE MAGGIE!!!!!!!

YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!

2010-01-28T17:54:00.001-08:00

The crutches are gone! The stitches are out! I'm back at work! I'm going to school! Life is almost back to normal after the knee surgery. I can finally take a full shower again...meaning no saran wrap on my leg and having to keep it out of the water...harder than you may think. Try it sometime. Haha. I shaved too yesterday haha. Never thought I'd be excited for that. During surgery they nicked a nerve so part of my calf is still numb. Trying shaving when you can't feel parts...that's weird. I still have to wear a brace for the next while, but that's okay, it's better than crutches. It hurts at times and is still swollen, but it will get better. I can't do any exercises for about the next three weeks. No stairs, no swimming no nothing. Actually I can walk without crutches :). I have to work on getting the range of motion back and then we'll move on to the exercising. I'm really hoping he lets me swim in a few weeks. I haven't been for a really long time, but I've been wanting to and if its for my Physical Therapy then I'll be motivated. I really don't like walking with a limp. I watched way too many movies while I was home. I even got sent home from work for another 4 days because I hadn't been released by the doctor. It gets boring! So much so that the day I got the stitches out and rid of the crutches I cleaned the kitchen just because I could! I'm glad its finally all done. It was worst than they thought so it was good I got the surgery...now time to move on! Hope everyone is doing amazingly!!
PS. Can you tell home much I miss those crutches? :)

OH MY!!!

2010-01-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

Well...where should I start? The cruise was sooo fun! New Year's was a blast with family. I'm moving tomorrow to a house with some friends. I'm getting surgery on Thursday. Maggie is coming home! Whew! Well...that's it.

Haha Just kidding. But seriously. The cruise was a lot of fun...the problem is that my mom is so much better at this than I am so she has all the pictures and all the explinations of what we did. For me the most memerable were going to see the humpback whales...AMAZING and being in Mazatlan. I loved speaking spanish (which I did in the other ports) and seeing just the amazing culture again. It's not so much for the visitors as it is just home to many, many wonderful people. The Marble's came which meant days and nights with my boys. Oh how they make me smile! I love all the Marble's and they know that. They are my girls. We spent one night where I highlighted Brianne's hair, dyed Alexis' and cut Emily's. So fun. Becky and Lolo are two friends from the ward and we're moving into a house together with another girl named Emily. Guess what? I get my own room and my own bed! I think that's the best part :) Thursday I am getting my ACL reconstructed. I will admit I am nervous. I like to freak myself out apparently. While we were talking to the doctor he kept saying the risks but would say that it was only 1%. While I was scheduling the surgery my mom went out and called my dad. Later we were talking and she said she wanted to make sure he was comfortable with it...because I am the 1%. I am the 1 in a million who always has something go wrong. We're hoping everything goes well:) I am very grateful for the priesthood and a chance to get a blessing to help ease my nerves. I am not a fan of what is coming up...but I finally get to be on crutches. I will be on them for about a week and then 4 months of only walking with the minimal swimming. I'm excited to be able to swim again. On the cruise I slipped twice and now I can't get my left leg any longer. Definetly need to change that! And the best news ever!! Mandee and Marritt got their travel approval so they are on their way to China (in a couple of weeks) to get Maggie and bring her home! We are so happy for them and sooooo absolutely excited to meet Maggie.
WE LOVE YOU MAGGIE!!!

Counting my blessings!

2009-11-29T16:51:00.000-08:00

So I'm still not a daily blogger...but here's the deal about my knee. We got the MRI back a few weeks ago and the ACL is torn. I also chipped my knee cap when it hit the meniscus. That's where most of the pain is. I am not in a brace any longer....the doc wants me to walk on it for 8 weeks as normal as possible to see if I can live with the tear or if it really is a problem. Some people are able to do everything they normally would with a tear and never get it reconstructed while others can't do anything. It was hard at first to walk without the brace. But my limp isn't as noticable now. It still can be pretty painful and it does give out a few times. But there is still a few more weeks to make a decision. The thing with an ACL is that is can not heal itself. They will not repair it either. I will have to get a cadaver (sp??) ligament to reconstruct it or they'll take part of my hamstring. We would go for the first option because then the surgery isn't as big of a deal. Yes, it does hurt...but I can walk. Honestly that's the most important thing. I'm not on crutches and I can go to work and sleep (mostly) very well. I have to count my blessings for that. In the next couple of days I will go swimming and see if I can do that...if not then there is no questions that I will be getting surgery. But I'm positive that all is well. I also have the count my blessings from the wonderful blessings I got right after the injury from two guys in my ward (it happened at FHE) and from my dad and grandpa when we got back from the ER. Part of the blessing was that the pain would be manageable. I only took my pain killers two nights. I don't need them because the pain isn't that bad. It's uncomfortable...but normal.
Well....the rain is pouring and I am excited! I have to go out on the porch with mom and Kelsey. Love you all!!!

NO MORE SOCCER!!!

2009-11-05T20:25:00.000-08:00

Played once...no more. I was playing Suzo ball for FHE (combination ultimate frisbee and soccer) and I went for the kick with my right leg and my left knee buckled under me and I went down. I've been in a knee mobilizer since Monday and I don't like it! But oh man does my knee hurt. Tomorrow I go to the orthopedic surgeon and we will find out just exactly what is going on. Sprain? Tear? Nothing? Oh man oh man! On the way to the ER I told dad how much I hated hospitals and he said "for hating them you sure do spend a lot of time at them." Haha But very true. He decided to go through the trips...Safford, AZ (for slipping on a puddle and injuring my shoulder), Novato, CA (for an allergic reaction to medicine my member gave me to help with a cough), Redwood City, CA (for a concussion from volleyball), Orem, UT (for not having enough oxygen in my blood), and Tucson, AZ (for hurting my knee.) The only place is Rexburg, Idaho that I didn't go to. This all was after graduation. Yeah for me! That is seriously sad! Well...wish my luck. Tomorrow is the appointment to see if we can find out anything. Will I be hiking in Mexico for Christmas on the cruise or just spending a week in the pool on the boat??

Oh my...catch up!!

2009-10-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin? I am back in Tucson. It was a hard move...especially because Sorena is pregnant and I absolutely love being around her kids and helping her. But I really missed my family and after turning 24 decided I needed to get serious with life. I didn't get residency in Utah so I decided to move back home. I'm living with my family again for now. Boy is that a new experience...I share Kelsey's room...even her bed!! But it's been fun. I got my job back at the Center for Neurosciences and even though there are moments of frustration I really do like being back with the company. And yes I am attended the singles ward...I decided to give it another try. It's okay. It's been a lot of fun being at home and for a while before the job (3 wks!!) I was able to be at home all day with mom. Loved it!! :) January I'll start school again. I'm excited--as much as I'm, not a fan of school...I am ready to be finished!

Let's see what Maryn's life brings! I'm excited :)

1st time for everything

2009-07-29T15:24:00.000-07:00

I GOT STUNG BY A BEE!!! I've never been stung befor and today was the day. It hurt SOOOO bad!

You have to Know what you're looking for

2009-07-28T14:04:00.001-07:00

1. He will love me without condition.
2. He will respect me, his mother, and my mother.
3. He will honor the priesthood he holds.
4. He will sacrifice for us and I sacrifice for us.
5. He will acknowledge me as his equal.
6. He will love me for me.
7. He will want to spend every possible moment with me.
8. He will be a communicator.
9. He will want to work together to become closer to our Heavenly Father.
10. He will laugh at all my crazy quirks.
11. He will trust me to help me as I trust him to help me.
12. He will strive everyday with me for us to be happy in all things.
13. He will cry with me when I cry.
14. He will laugh with me when I laugh.
15. He will hold my hand while we are driving.
16. He will play with my hair when we talk together, just the two of us.
17. He will help me make my dreams come true as I help him make his come true.
18. He will kiss me goodnight everynight.
19. He will not let me go to sleep upset with him and he will not go to bed upset with me.
20. He will want to be as close to my family as I am with them.
21. He will allow me to be as close to his family as he is with them.
22. He will not need a reason to hug me, kiss me or tell me he loves me.
23. He will never yell at me, hit me or abuse me.
24. He will always treat me as a daughter of God.
25. He will forgive me for my mistakes as I will forgive him.
26. He will spend everyday taking care of my hearts as I take care of his.
27. He will cherish the good moments, let go of the sad moments and make our tomorrows the reason to smile.
28. He will hold onto the promises of the temple.
29. He will not wake up one day and decide there's nothing left between us.
30. He will fight everyday for us.
31. He will know that I am not perfect and won't judge me just as I will not judge him.
32. He will be able to say my name :)
33. He will lay outside and watch the stars with me just because.
34. He will tell me I'm amazing or wonderful just because.
35. He will teach me to do the things he loves.
36. He will allow me to teach him the things I love.
37. He will hold me close everyday as if he hadn't seen me in days.
38. He will not get mad if I burn dinner but will just laugh and make me laugh over it.
39. He will help me to the laundry and the dishes.
40. He will want to take trips with me.
41. He will not want to get out of bed on a Saturday morning because he'd rather stay in bed with me.
42. He will show me everyday that he loves me by the little things.
43. He will know that to show love isn't about material things.
44. He will not hang up the phone on me.
45. He will not ignore me.
46. He will want to be a dad.
47. He will want to be a good example to our children.
48. He will help me raise our children in the gospel.
49. He will help me teach our children as equals.
50. He will walk in the rain with me.
51. He will not be afraid to play in the sprinklers once in a while.
52. He will go shopping with me because he can get something too :)
53. He will not be ashamed to let people know he loves me.
54. He will have a hard time going to work because he's rather spend the day with me.
55. He will allow me to comfort him when he is upset.
56. He will trust that I can make him happy.
57. He will stay strong in the church and help me and our children do the same.
58. He will call or text me during the day just because.
59. He will not be afraid to try new things.
60. He will love me even if I'm not wearing make-up, have my hair done or am just wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.
61. He will take the journey of life with me.
62. He will want to go to the temple with me as much as possible.
63. He will not make me cry.

One day. Patience is a Christ-like attribute.

A Walk To Remember

2009-07-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

"I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go." Abraham Lincoln.

Wow. It had been a journey, but one I think I really needed. I remember being really upset one day by something some guy had said and my dad said "just tell them it doesn't matter because your daddy loves you." Well, I've been trying to remember that advice, both that my daddy (my mommy is included in this) and my Heavenly Father love me. As hard as it is to close the door on a "possibility" I have learned that I deserve more. I am a queen and I deserve to be treated like that. Being friends is okay...but sometimes its not worth trying to be more. People change when hearts are involved and I'm not okay with that. There is no reason why I can't expect to be treated with respect. In fact, there is no reason that as a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father that I can't demand to be treated with respect. I'm not talking about being controlling, I'm talking about not being yelled at, about not being called dumb or stupid, about not being put on a roller coaster of one day they can't leave your side and the next they don't want to be even a friend. I have never had a very strong self esteem--but dang it with or without self esteem I deserve a whole lot more. I think it is perfectly okay for me to expect certain things out of the men of Zion and I am going to. Sometimes I still get sad that Ashlee and Brittney have been married for so long and I'm still just sitting alone in my apartment--but I have never really dated anyone that was worth it. I thought I was going to be in that position, but he changed to and I'm not willing to just marry anyone to finally be in the group. It's hard with the fam to go out with the adults cause I'm the only one without a date, but I think I would rather be alone then wonder if I'm going to make him mad if I don't put enough sauce on the spaghetti or whatever. I just want to be me. I want to be able to say when I am feeling and be able to communicate without waiting for the next yell or the next hang up. I mean is that too much to ask? I've hid it because it hurts to think that there was the chance it wouldn't work...but I thought I had finally found someone that maybe it could work with...and then I found out that a broken heart is better than an eternity of my heart being torn apart. It will happen, in this life. I just have to close this door and move on. And keep telling myself that I deserve more and not blame myself for being in Utah, 24 and unmarried. I think I need a hug from my mom and daddy:)

Time to get started!!

2009-07-10T06:20:00.001-07:00

I went to a writing and publishing class last night--I have 6 weeks to write my first manuscript. I've been playing with ideas for YEARS (!) but its time to make a dream a reality. This class was absolutely amazing. I learned tons of little legal things I never thought of...like if I want to use "You're fired" I have to get written permission from Donald Trump's people. Usually if its 2 sentences or less I wouldn't have to but because its so well known now from his show I can't use it! I can't even use the name of a song unless I pay for it! Crazy day. So if you are reading my book --in the very near future cause the time lines is CRAZY fast-- expect to have never heard of the band or the song name:) haha. I'm excited---scared, nervous, self conscious--but excited:) I have always wanted to write and today is the best time -- no one knows what tomorrow holds!

Adventures!!

2009-07-07T08:22:00.001-07:00

So the adventure started with my ex-companion from the mission flying to Salt Lake City and we started on the drive of craziness! All the way to Houston, Texas--23 hours!!! Her boyfriend, Chris, lives in Houston and the 3 of us served in the mission with Elder Cruz who was coming home to Dallas and we were going for the homecoming. We left Thursday the 18th and drove to Moab, UT where we stopped and slept. By the way did you know that there is a hole in the rock? We got up and continued the lovely drive into crazy flat Texas and stopped that night in Wichita Falls, TX. We got up the Saturday morning and finished the 6 hour drive to Houston. We stayed in Houston until Monday when we drove with Chris and his cousin to Dallas. I can’t believe I spent all that time and didn’t get a phot with the 3 of us! Tuesday we went to Tony's (Elder Cruz) house and welcomed him home. The week was filled with swimming, 6 Flags, Tranformers 2, BBQs, soccer game, many many soccer and tennis games on TV, my car breaking down and getting fixed, a homecoming talk, and food poisoning!! After that crazy week i drove to El Paso and staying the night at some friends before continuing the drive to Tucson to spend the 4th with my family! I finally got to meet Grace and Bradeigh. The weekend included meeting the babies, seeing GG and Gpa in the mission office, watching my mom get a sexy new hair cut, watching the Proposal with the fam, seeing the Klassens, going to eat at Blanco's (SOOOO good for the Tucson friends), sleeping in while the guys play golf, really fun BBQ with really good food, chilling with the fam, painting toe nails, saying goodbye to my friend Rachel before she moves to North Carolina, watching fireworks (hmmmm definetly no stadium of fire presentation),watching GG try to get the last bit on burnt jalapeno poppers, going back to the family ward again, learning to play a dice game called greedy with the snell's, and the getting up early Monday and driving to Utah. The drive back wasn't too bad---next time I need to bring a lot more CDs and mixes because boy did those get old fast:) So here are some pictures of the crazy adventure I had. It was soooo much fun! I'm almost sad to be back in the real world with work and stuff...but I have to grow up sometime:)

Gotta love the crazy things you see on a road trip!
Flat, flat, and more flat! At one point we could see Fort Worth from 40 miles away!!
Yeah...they may be a little too friendly--in Houston we were stopped 4 times in traffic because of acciddents!
Isn't Caleb the CUTEST kid ever?!

Here is the angel Gracie!!

Me and Gorgeous Gracie!!

Heeheehee...check out the Pepsi logo toes:)

Kelsey, Madison Klassen, Madison Snell, and me with our 4th of July toes:)

Gracie in her 4th of July tye-dye shirt

Rachel, Aspen and I before Rachel leaves for NC

Caleb and I as twins!!

Isn't she too cute for words?Bradeigh so precious!

Mom and Caleb rolling down the hill at the gold course

Maddi, me and Grace
Jared, Dan, Jeanene, Maddi and Grace waiting for the fireworks
Danny, dad, mom, Madi, Alisa, GPa, GG and Carol getting ready for fireworks

Jalapeno poppers gone wrong

But GG doesn't care!

Kels and I in our matching 4th of July shirts

I love my sister!!

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July!!

Update...oops

2009-06-15T14:18:00.001-07:00

Sorry...just a little note...I AM in the relief society as the first counselor and no I am not sure how I feel about it still:)

Way too OverDue entry...with PICTURES:)

2009-06-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

I know I know...I am really bad at this:) The other day I was telling my mom about a shirt I tyedyed and I said "I'll take a picture and put it on my blog." Her response? "Yeah right" Haha. So here I am...typing and upoading pictures. Good to go. Let's see what has happened in the last little while:)

My Neon is pretty much ready to die...so I bought a 2001 Ford Focus. Cute little car:) I really like it!
For tradition purposes I had the Marble's sit on the car and take pictures because when I lived with them we did it on my Neon. We didn't have the purple hat...but it was still fun:)
On the day that GG and Gpa left it took me 6 or 7 shots to finally get one of Nico giving my mom a kiss. Too cute!

Here is Nico making fish faces that my mom and I got him to do one day at dinner:)
And they left.....
I can't believe they are really leaving but they are going to do great!
The caravan is ready to go.
Bubba was a huge help at getting everything together for GG and GPa
Dang...she moved straight on the the 2-Liter...wonder if she's a little nervous:)
For a Relief Society activity (I'm not in the presidency as the 1st councelor--still not sure how I feel about it) we tye dyed shirts. It was the first time I'd ever done it. So fun! I made this one all by myself. It was origionally a regular old white shirt...now it's my fav:)

I can't wait to do a little tye dying again. It was a blast! So...I'm basically just trying to get through each day. Let me tell you waht...it's hard...but it's right. I am learning things everyday...how to budget, how to buy a car, how to look for a job even if someone isn't hiring, and also how to just be myself and make friends everywhere I go. It's hard...but it's the right thing to do. My thing is LIVE...LAUGH...LOVE but to add to it was something I found today..."If the Lord brought you to it...He'll get you through it." As long as I'm doing my best and doing what I need to do and making sure that I continue to pray and do everything I can according to the way I feel the Lord wants to direct me, then I am going to be okay.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!!

SO EXCITED!!

2009-05-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

I get to see my mom tomorrow! I can't wait. I have been counting down the days since she told me she was coming. It's going to be a fast trip--but I will take anything I can get right now. Just sometimes you need your mom. Next will be my dad...I LOVE MY PARENTS!! I miss Kelsey too, she's my favorite sister EVER:)

Can I just say...

2009-05-13T08:24:00.001-07:00

I LOVE MY PARENTS! They are amazing! Last night I was in a movie with friends and unable to answer my mom's call...but I love hearing from her. I wrote my dad an e-mail today and he called me. I was at work but it was fun to write him and tell him I was at work and then get an e-mail back that said "Love you to and I'll wait for your call." They are too cute. My mom is coming up for the graduations and I CAN'T WAIT! For a while I didn't call them very often but now I can't help and talk to at least one of them every other day if not every day. They are too cute!! I also love my family! Obviously I have been having a hard time the last couple of days. Yesterday I got a text from Jared...I told him thank you and that I needed it, but I'm not sure if he'll ever know how much I needed it. When GG was still in Salem she used to just randomly call me to say hi. Sorena, Whitney and Beth are so welcoming when I just need to get away. Jeanene and her amazing words of support. Who needs friends when you have an amazing family?! No matter how long my grey cloud stays with me...at least I'll have a family who keeps it a very light grey:)

The Definition of Honesty?

2009-05-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

I used to want to be a journalist, but never really went for it. Today, however, I realized why. I am too nice and too honest. I couldn't do it. A reporter from SF Chronicle called today and I answered the phone. He started asking about pricing and if I thought it was racist that the JDate fees were more than Blacksingles. After a few rude questions about how if I was racist as well I said "You are just trying to write an article so maybe I should transfer you to marketing." Now mind you, he has not yet once said he was a reporter...he's just not very good at being sneaky. "You said it not me." Was his response. "Well, if you have any other questions you can call back later." "Have you ever heard of the SF Chronicle." "Yes." "Well how do you feel about just answering questions for a reporter?" Are you kidding me? Had he been a good reporter I would have never known and he wouldn't have had to admit it...but I would think it's only nice and honest to be honest with someone else who is being honest to you. Plus all reporters know they're supposed to acknowledge who they are first to keep from being sued. Hmmmm maybe that's what I should do. Find out if he does write the article and then sue him for using my words without disclosing that it was for an article in the first place. That could be fun. It goes to show that Elder Oaks was right...BE NICE! I don't understand why no one else is getting that. The other day I was telling mom that she raised me wrong. She raised me to be nice. No one else is nice. I can't remember what it was for but we got a pretty good laugh about it. It was probably something here at work...I run into a lot of not nice people. Oh well...I like how she raised me. Her and my dad are amazing and I think I like being nice. Even if there are only a handful of us left:)

Put a Cherry on Top

2009-05-11T05:31:00.001-07:00

If my weekend wasn't emotional enough...let's add 1st counselor in the Relief Society to the mix. Are they crazy? I don't even attend Relief Society! Looks like now I will be though. Dad said it'll be good because maybe I can help make it so the others who don't attend either will want to. I usually sit in the back row in sacrament and the back row of all the classes...singles wards are dumb and and all cliques...but yesterday I gave the opening prayer, had to stand to be sustained, and next week I'm giving a talk. Great...now people will actually know my name! Haha...now the trick is if they can pronounce it. There goes my wonderful plans to be with my parents for the summer. You know how one thing happens and everything comes out. Girls can't be upset about just one thing at a time. EVERYTHING has to hit at once. Last night I cried myself to sleep. I want my mom and dad, I am scared to death of the presidency and if I hear that one more person is getting divorced I'm going to start my collection to become the single dog lady in the neighborhood. I know we all have trials and it is just for a moment...but dang this moment is long! We all have the time to feel that way. I'm just glad I still have my testimony and I have the opportunity to attend the temple. Maybe this is the Lord's way of telling me to use what I have right down the street.

Oh boy...this would not be cool

2009-05-09T17:03:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else seen this? The golf ball landed in her lap after the first tee off. They ended up putting a marker under her chair and he played without penalty...but could you imagine?? No wonder she is covering her face, I would be scared to death...I think I'm finding a lot of things scare me haha

Scariest thing EVER!!!

2009-05-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

So I'm driving, minding my own business, onto another wonderful day at work. I'm taking the curve around UVU when a baseball hits my car. I slam on my brakes cause it scared me so badly and now my neck hurts and my chest where the seat belt stopped me! I am no happy! I call dad crying just so I could talk to him so I could calm down before I got to work. He asked me if I missed them and I cried harder...I think that's really the underlying to everything. I try to be happy and okay with everything but I miss my mom and dad and Kelsey. It makes me really sad that I'm missing both blessings...haha you would think I was the grandmother:) I guess I've always been the sappy one though. I always think I can be there for everything with every family all the time, but I'm slowly learning that I can't. It all started when no one obeyed the rule of not growing up while I was in Cali haha. But then it is also going to be the third mother's day that I can't see my mom I just have to call her. I don't like growing up. I don't like it at all. I rememeber when I was younger I pinky sweared my mom I would always live in a state that connected to hers...even on the mission I kept a promise:)...and then a while later I rememeber telling her that I would be the only newly wed that bought a house next to her mother. I think I'm just going to stay with them forever haha. She's gonna love that:) I think I moved too soon. Yes, my mother told me so...dad did too actually...but I think leaving right after the mission wasn't the right thing to do. I have alsways said that I'm independent and I like to do my own thing...but I think I want to take that back. I am independent and I do like to do my own thing...but around my mom and dad. How do people get married and move away? I guess I'm not in that position so I don't see it...but I don't know how people do it. I love my mom and dad and I don't like being away. I really like the idea Sorena has of having a couple thousand acre ranch where we can all live around each other...then I won't have to leave watching Bubba and Nico and my girls but I can still be around my parents, sister, and play with Caleb and watch the new babies!! Now how to get the hillman side of the family....hmmmm....I have some planning to do. I just need to become rich, take Glenn Beck up on his idea with 25 for him and 25 for Obama and I'll buy a whole city and then all my family can move there. Oh...and then I woke up. Haha. Growing up happens...guess I just have to deal. No matter where I am or what I'm doing I am so grateful for my family and everything they do for me. My parents are amazing and help me more than they know. My sister makes me laugh all the time. I am so proud of GG and Gpa. I am so glad that I got to go to lunch with Sorena and Whitney and dinner with Grandma and Mandee and dinner the next day with Grandma, Beth, Cindy, Britt and everyone else. Sorena even made me a tres leches cake for my birthday!! AMAZING! See...family is amazing. I think people tend to forget the importance once in a while. Going to the temple reminds me of why families are so important. If they weren't...why would the Lord want them sealed? I have a new roommate and she's the third who has been divorced in our apartment. All three are younger than 25. One was annuled, one got divorced after 2 years and one after 8 months. What is the deal?! Isn't marriage and family sacred any more. Why don't people fight? My one roommate said he bugged her so she ended it. The other one didn't like how money got tight. The other said she decided she didn't really like him. Funny thing...2 of them are still sealed. Why would you get married if you don't like the person? And if there are problems why not try to fix them? Obviously there are those who have fought for a marriage for years and then it ends up that things don't work...but 8 months? Two years? Are you kidding me? Maybe I live in a dream world...no I don't. Kelly and Danette, Judy and Marlin, Sorena and Chris, Beth and Gheen, Mandee and Merritt, Whitney and Harry, Jeanene and Dan, Melanie and Jared, Michael and Linette...nope not a dream world. I think it can happen...I'm thinking 28 is a good year for me to be looking because quite fankly people my age are getting married just because they should and they'll end it if it gets tough. Things aren't easy...that's life...but that doesn' t mean you should just give up. Hmmm...maybe I'm looking to hard and I'm to picky. But I don't think that's a bad thing. Like the guy I went to lunch with for my birthday...not even. He's a nice guy but I didn't get a word in edgewise --and everyone knows I like to talk--but that's not the real reason. I just don't feel comfortable around him. I'm huge on the first impression. If I'm not comfortable being alone with someone on a date...why in the world would I want to be alone with them and married? I wonder if people think about that before they say yes to marriage...probably because there are so many people around me getting divorced. My roommate, the one who doesn't talk to me, just got engaged. They dated about 9 months and are waiting another 5 to get married. I guess its the way I was raised in thinking but why wait so long? I just have so many questions. I guess I'll never have any answers until I find someone. I want to marry someone like my dad, sensitive, caring, funny...maybe my mom got the only mold though:) haha I used to want to get married, have kids, the whole shibang. But I am scared to death. Maybe that's where the title comes from. It was scary having that baseball hit my car but getting married is scary too. No one wants to fight for anything anymore. They just want to give up. I know I will argue with my husband, but what if he decides after a year that I bug him or that he just doesn't like me...what is that? Yep, it's official. I am scared to death. I'm Belle...but is there really a happily ever after? Since getting back from the mission I have had 6 people that I personally know either get divorced or in the process of getting divorced. Way too many for comfort. I have known others in the past but this time it's almost too much. I must be crazy...marriage is such a good thing...but not any time soon. I have to find someone who is willing to fight for something so amazing and too many people here in Utah are getting married just because that's what we're supposed to do. A couple weeks ago I wore a new outfit...thanks GG for the skirt:)...and I looked good:) I had a couple couple guys ask me out...3 of which were engaged. "I have to make sure I'm making the right decision." "I should look around before I purchase, right?" ARE YOU KIDDING? Why in heavens name would I ever want to be engaged to something like that? One guy is dating a girl and I got "if I wasn't dating her I would ask you out." Right, and when you and I are dating who are you giving that line to? I know one day I will get married. I know one day I will have kids that my parents can spoil...but oh it is going to be a while. Scariest thing is finding someone who won't cheat, won't run cause I gain a couple of pounds, won't want to end the marriage because we get into an argument in the first month, won't think he made the worst decision of his life marrying me. I know...Good luck right? That's okay. I will finish school, open my own business, drive a nice new X-Terra, go on vacations with my family (because they won't make me take pictures on a drive by), and enjoy my life to the fullest because it doesn't start with marriage.

Birthday Birthday!!

2009-05-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

I'm 24~~ Can you believe it? Wednesday I went to lunch with Sorena, Emily, Camille, Bubba, Nico, Whitney and Karsyn to Bajio. That night I went to Olive Garden with Grandma and Mandee. My parents got me the coolest audio digital player...way cooler than an iPod Touch! Thursday I went shopping with Grandma and got a zebra stripped skirt with the coolest jacket and the sweetest purple purse. I am grateful for the family I have here and that I was able to spend my birthday with them...but I did totally miss my parents and Kelsey. I miss you too GG--thanks for the apron! My roommate Jena made me a cake that was purple with Belle on top!!My two favorite things ever! Belle and Purple...had the bottem had a little zebra stripe to it...:)

We learned all to quick that 24 candles on that little cake was a little too much! Her dress melted...

...she now has a stub for a hand...

...and her hair brned so it stayed straight up and out! But it still tasted really good with the vanilla cake and lemon filling!

After lunch we went and got some ice cream. Nico got it all over himself and so after taking off his clothes he started eating it by keeping it away from him and leaning in to take a bite. So cute!

Let's find out what 24 has to offer!!

The Coolest thing ever!!

2009-04-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

This is a CAKE!!! My roommate Jena is amazing! She made this cake for her psychology class. It tasted good...but we were all impressed with the fact that she made a Rubix Cube out of cake. She is the coolest every! Every time she says she's going to make a cake we can't all help but be distracted thinking what it's going to turn out as. She's my favorite roommate!!

California San Francisco Mission

2009-04-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

It has become official. Upon receiving a letter from Elder Cruz and reading on President Keller's facebook...the California San Francisco Mission is no more as of July 1st. I will have to visit 3 different missions to cover the one that I served in for 18 month. My first 9 months were served in Novato and San Rafael--these will be apart of the Santa Rosa mission. My next area was in San Mateo and this will become part of the Oakland/San Francisco Mission. Redwood City and EPA will be a part of the San Jose mission. The reasoning came from financial cutbacks. The San Francisco mission is one of the most expensive and they felt splitting it up with other missions might cut down on the cost. Plus, it's Soddom and Gomorrah. I loved serving there...but just because the name changes that does not mean the people or the work changes. Where ever the missionaries are transferred on May 25th...that is the mission they will be a part of on July 1st. Crazy times!!

Heehee this one is really good!

2009-04-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

Why Parents Drink

> A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to
> see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked
> up. Then he saw an
> Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
> addressed to 'Dad.'

> With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
> with trembling hands and read the letter.

> Dear Dad:

> It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing
> you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted
> to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

> I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
> nice.

> But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
> piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact
> that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the
> passion...Dad she's pregnant.
> Stacy said that we will be very happy.

> She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood
> for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
> children.

> Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
> doesn't really hurt anyone.
> We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with
> the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
> In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure
> for AIDS so
> Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
> Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care
> of myself.
> Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that
> you can
> get to know your grandchildren.

> Love, Your Son John

> PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
> Tommy's house.

> I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
> life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.

> I love you.

> Call me when it's safe to come home.

Need a laugh???.....

2009-04-08T19:05:00.000-07:00

Here are some funny things we have posted at work:

Blonde Paint Job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?
"How about 50 dollars?" The blonde asked. The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the coversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for a $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Why...Why...Why...
**Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
**Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
**Why does someone believe you that there are four billion stars; but they have to check when you say the paint is wet?
**Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
**If people evolved from apes...why are there still apes?
**Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
**Is there a day that mattresses are not on sale?
**Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
**Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
**Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Cupid At Law
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."

Instruction Labels
(these were found on actual instruction labels)
*On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (***That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
*On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
*On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (***So I kind of have a hard time with this one because I've done that before...hmmmmm...apparently I wasn't readying the label:))
*On a box of aspirin: "Do not take if allergice to aspirin."
*On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (***Hmmm...isn't that what you want?)
*On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (***so that means...?)
*On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (***and the other use is...?)
*On a bottle of baby lotion: "Keep away from children." (***well that's false advertisment haha)
*On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
*On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (***NO really??)

0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really ticked. She told him "Tomorrow morning, i expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box giftwrapped in the middle ofthe driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back into the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Yankees Fan
"I am a Yankees fan," a first grade teacher explained to her class. "Who likes the Yankees?" Everyone raises a hand except on girl.
"Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"I am not a Yankees fan."
"Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then what team do you like?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why in the world are you a Red Sox fan?"
"Beacuse my mom and dad are."
"That's no reason to be a Red Sox fan," the teacher explained, annoyed. "You don't always have to be just like your parents. What if your mom and dad were morons? What would you be then?"
"A Yankees Fan."

***Haha this one made me think of the little girl in class when the teacher asked about Jonah being in the whale. I'm not sure the whole story but the little girl said she would ask Jonah the question when she got to Heaven. "What if he went to hell?" asked the teacher. "Then you ask him." heeheehee

Hope everyone gets a laugh out of at least one of them:)

BE NICE!!!

2009-04-08T11:03:00.001-07:00

Conference was really good and it helped that I was watching it next to my parents. I haven't seen my parents since Christmas and it was just fun to sit on the couch and lean against daddy. He said "You love your dad don't you?" Yes I do! I guess that's why I totally pretended I wasn't worried when he had surgery but in reality I was...but hello! Maryn worries about everything and everyone. But now that's over so I don't have to worry. I love how this time in conference the main topics were to BE NICE, Temples and Prayer. I'm on the BE NICE kick. So many people are so into their own problems that no one is nice any more. No one says hi to strangers on the street and it doens't seem like anyone really wants to help those around them. BE NICE! I guess I am getting that from work. I talk to some of the rudest people ever. I don't understand it. What did I ever do to them? It seems like if you really want to get something to go your way than you will be nice to the person that is holding the tools in their hands. But maybe that's me. If anyone is going to ever learn anything from me...it's to BE NICE! I want that on my tombstone:) It's the only way to be happy and stay happy. Even the general authorities say that true repentance comes from when serving others and we feel God's love and show our love to him when we serve others...in other words..BE NICE!!

Trip to the ER

2009-03-18T04:57:00.000-07:00

Yep...even in Utah Maryn can't stay away from the wonderful Emergency Room. Sunday I woke up with what I thought was a horrible cold. My eyes were watering, my throat hurt, my chest was really tight. I did the church thing and then came home and slept. I couldn't breathe it was horrible. About 1 in the morning I threw up blood. At 3 I was in so much pain I couldn't stop crying. My whole body felt like it was on fire. (Of course I don't really know what that feels like--but I think I have a pretty good idea now) After being in this pain for about half an hour my roommates took me to the ER. They did a breathing treatment, chest x-rays, and took blood from my artery (okay--now that hurts!) Turns out I had high pH levels and dangerously low CO2 levels. Apparently I have a respiratory infection, which really isn't a big deal, but when I'm sleeping I hyperventilate and it causes me to have these levels which causes the sensation that my body is on fire because my blood isn't circulating the way it should be. Never heard of it and don't completely understand it...but now I have an inhaler for the next couple of days, I'm not supposed to drive long distances and my plan to start running is out of the question for about a week (dang it!). Monday night I had to wake myself up every couple of hours to check my breathing, not fun. And because now I'm just scared to be in that pain again I automatically woke myself up every couple of hours last night and had to be up for work at 5, again...NOT FUN. I am so tired. The doctor said I would be light headed for about a week. Are you kidding? I wonder if he has ever been light headed. This is not a normal everyday thing--so then to tell me that I'll do it for a week...NOT FUN. But yesterday I didn't work or have school so I was able to rest a bit. I would like to rest more. One day I'll be okay--and I won't need an ER!:)

Longest Day EVER!

2009-03-14T17:38:00.001-07:00

Sorry--the East Coast trip was a little out of order--I'm still trying to get this whole blogging thing down.

I'm at work and have been since 11 am. It will be an 8 hour day which wouldn't be too bad except its a slow day and I am having those lovely, wonderful, excellent monthly pains that everyone knows takes me out. So needless to say I am trying to hard to be nice to all of the JDate members who think it's okay to yell at me. Just smile, breathe, and think of the wonderful moment when I can get some pain killers in me. YEAH!

I usually work the morning shift which is wonderful--but now I have been changed to the evening shift. Working right after school each day until 11. This next week will be the first week that we are open until 11 since we're letting Beverly Hills go. That just makes for a late night. Now I'll be doing homework in the morning...which is fine...it's just going to be something different. I liked waking up at 5--I had the whole rest of the day to do things. Now I come home and go to bed after work. Oh well...at least its paying the bills and that I am grateful for.

Last day of the EC trip---thank goodness!

2009-03-14T16:45:00.000-07:00

Me as the signer of the declaration:)
Benjamin Franklin--guess what...I was out of the car!!
Check me out and the Liberty Bell--dang was security huge! I even had to take of my jacket so the guy could look at it. It's just a bell that signifies freedom! Just kidding!

So the day was...well...let's just say I'm not doing that trip again. Way too much complaining from the other girls...if there are 2 people who have NEVER seen the sites you can't complain about going to them because you live there...and when there are 4 people you can't complain because we're not doing everything you want to do all the time.

I like traveling with my family. We know how each other work. There are gives and takes to all ends and no one has issues--we get around to everyone's needs. That's how it should work. I'm not saying I am perfect--but you have to work together to make a good week...not expect everything you say is going to go exactly as planned. Have a little give ability--nothing is going to be planned perfectly to the second...it is impossible.

I even went to the airport an hour and a half earlier than I needed just so I could get away...have some Maryn time cause Maryn knows how Maryn works and that is good for Maryn.

So...my fam--anyone up for an east coast trip next summer?

NYC pictures

2009-03-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

Do you know what this is? Time Square from a speeding truck through NYC traffic. Hmmmm yeah I have no idea what Time Square looks like and well...I am a little bitter to say the least.

WE GOT OUT OF THE CAR!!! Empire State Blidg---above we're on the 86th florr---below we're standing outside with Maria's family.
Through the Holland Tunnel...it's pretty cool...did you know you can still get your radio connection even inside and even though it's underwater? Yep--thought that was cool.
The Twin Tower Memorial...drove past the site so didn't get any pictures.
So Hmmmm...there's my trip to NYC. Really if I say more I might get a little upset...

More to the trip

2009-03-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

I had to put this picture up because this was my trip---most of my pictures are from the inside of the car---I am trying not to dwell on the fact that I kind of wish I hadn't gone...but let's just say I'm going back to the East Coast sometime and I am going to WALK as much as I want!

When you put Maryn in a car, with a camera, and you won't let her out this is what happens...self taken portraits...honestly I think I could go pro
From the inside of a car not all pictures can be seen very well...but this one is at the opening of a park and it says "Garden of Gethsemane" and is Allentown, PA.
We did stop 2 places, this dress shop--I just liked it cause it said California...
and a church in Allentown that has a mini liberty bell. The Liberty Bell stayed at this church until it was taken to Philly--they think this is where the crack happened.

Maria lives in Allentown so that's why we chilled here. The next day was NY. Her stepfather was to take us to 5th Avenue...drop us off...and then pick us up a few hours later...did that happen...

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay--so I am only extremely bitter about this. I saw NYC from the car. We got out once to see the Twin Tower memorial, then to buy Rachel a shot glass and see the empire state bldg, we drove past Central Park and drove past Time Square--needless to say I want to go back!

East Coast Trip part 1

2009-03-14T15:16:00.000-07:00

I went to the East Coast for 4 days to see Castellanos (an old companion) and my friend Rachel decided to come too. Here Rachel and I met at the Chicago airport on our way to Philly.

Maria and her mom picked us up from the airport and we headed straight to North Carolina--an 8 hour drive that turned into an 11 hour drive...it didn't help that we got pulled over at 9:30 pm b/c Maria didn't have her lights on--but let's just say that 4 girls with different maps and a GPS system don't work well together...I have my personal opinion about that drive...

So this picture really isn't one that I want to show--but it explains the next picture...
Maria's earring got stuck in my hair!! That hurt soooo bad. It took about 2 minutes to get her out of my hair. Luckily it was straight that day--could you imagine if it was curly??
From the mission!! Wesley Rash, Maria Castellanos and me (the former Hermana Hillman)--we love San Franciso Spanish Missionaries!!
We had an okay time in North Carolina. It wasn't the best and well...it didn't get any better...but it was good to see Wes and to meet his fiancee Tanisha!

Rascal Flatts

2009-03-10T16:09:00.001-07:00

I really wish my mom had been here for this! She loves Rascal Flatts and she would have LOVED the concert!!

They played old songs, newer songs, and they are coming out with a new CD on April 7th!! I am so excited.

I wasn't close at all so the pictures I got weren't very good--but they are amazing in concert. They have great effects. It was tons of fun. If you can go--I HIGHLY suggest it!

A little Catch up

2009-02-14T22:16:00.000-08:00

I finally figured out how to work the whole picture thing...so let's catch up a little bit with some images!!!

My roommate Megan and I went to the Utah Jazz vs Dalls Mavericks game. Guess what?!?! GG was dancing at the game too! It was so fun to see her dance. I love it!!

Here Megan and I are with our jersey's on. Jazz won 115-87. The Jazz are doing amazing right now!

Maria, a member from San Francisco moved to Provo and I have been taking care of her kids. I absolutel adore these two!! Here is Jazmine.

Here is Daniel. He never lets me take a straight shot picture of him.

Maria's sisterm Erika, just moved to Orem with her daughter Kaylee. I was there when Kaylee was born. Now she's one! I can't belive how fast time flies.

Erika and I when she first moved to Utah. It was so fun to see her again.

I went with the Marbles to Soldier Hollow. I went down with Brianne and Bubba went with Chris. After the first time going down with his dad he decided that he could do it himself.

Bubba is such a Stud! Love that kid. Boy is he going to be a heart breaker!! haha Watch out for him Sorena. Your girls too:)

So there are just some of the things that have been going on. I'm glad I finally figured out to add pictures. This'll make it that much more fun to blog haha.

I hope everyone had a fun Valentine's Day!

Joy of Roommates

2009-02-13T07:07:00.001-08:00

Well...we're all doing good except for the one. She still won't talk to me...in fact she's not really talking to anyone. She comes home and goes into her room and doesn't come out. There isn't really anything we can do...which is sad. I wish there was something I could do--but when you just run to your room I'm not going to chase you and try to get you to be mature about things. I know I'm not perfect-but I think we all need to work together to make it work. Oh well...I am just going to keep going about doing my things:)

I really need to get pictures up! Hmmm...I'm hoping to do that today. I know I say that all the time but I finished all my homework and all my essays are written so I should be able to. I have to tell about the Jazz game too! But you can't do that without pictures...yep yep...we're going to try to do it. I'm still getting used to this whole thing. I think I need to get some songs up too. I think today and tomorrow will be my blogging day to get everything set up--I'm finally done writing essay for 3 days so it'll be a good time haha.

Not Quite Sure How I Feel About This

2009-02-13T06:10:00.000-08:00

The octuplet mom. Actually I know exactly how I feel...sad. Very sad for those kids. I was reading an article this morning that said she has been getting death threats--I don't think that it right, but I also don't think it is right for the octuplets to stay with her. Its one thing to be a single mother of a couple of kids but to purposoly be a mother of 14--I'm sorry but there is something seriously wrong with that. I look at these women who aren't able to have children. It makes my heart break (Mom, I'm not trying to make you cry.) But for example my mom, she's amazing. She's a wonderful example and mother. Why can't she take them--okay maybe not all 8--but you know what I mean. There are 14 children under the age of 8 with a mother who doesn't have a job and just keeps adding to the crew. No matter how much time she spends at home a few of these kids are going to feel left out. What about when the octuplets come home? What about the other 6? She's not going to have time to care for them. These children are going to have some serious issues. It just makes me sad that someone who says she wants children could put children in such a horrible state. I don't know what other's opinions are on the subject, but this is my opinion. My opinion that quite frankly I think the 8 should be adopted into one home or a couple of homes that allow them to have a good strong healthy life. That might sound mean, but sometimes it's in the better interest of the child. I know I'm grateful for my mom and dad. I have a wonderful family and I think the octuplets deserve that. The others as well if needed. $3000 a month is not going to care for 14 children--now---or when they are grown. She just had 6 boys and already has some...boys can eat. Is she really going to be able to feed that many boys (I actually don't know the total number of boys but it is over 6) when they are teenagers on $3000 a month? You're looking at clothes--kids grow--food--they eat--electric bill--when 1 girl is a teenager she spends a lot of time in the bathroom (with lights on) putting on makeup now she has at least 3 if not more. They are so close in age that there won't be anytime. I guess I'm just kind of going off on it...I've never had such strong feelings about children being taken away from someone--(Okay maybe a drug addict and what not) but beiung a recent thing happening I just don't understand. I don't understand why she thinks it was okay. I'm sorry but if you implant 6 embryos she can't say she didn't think she'd end up with a couple more. Um, does anyone remeber the septublets or the sextuplets? With invitro fertilization you can't really expect to only get 1 child with that many embryos. Everyone knows I want quadruplets...but I don't think I'm going to try so hard that I'm going to put my other children at risk for neglect. On the Today show she said that she is a loving mother because she holds each baby for 45 minutes. Oh yeah...that is mother of the year quality right there. It breaks my heart how some of the children are going to feel that they aren't loved because there isn't enough time to spend with them. There is a reason why the Lord has said that a family consists of a mother and a father. Having 14 children is possible...and the children can fill loved when there are 2 parents...mother and father! That's how I feel anyways. I don't want to offend anyone...but my blog is my blog so I'm going to say that I am very diappointed in this woman and I think that there are other people that could care more and better for her children.

The wonderful word "Courtesy"

2009-02-12T06:02:00.000-08:00

So I have to tell the funny story of this crazy word. When I typed in the blog I knew I had spelled it wrong---but I had been trying to figure it out for WEEKS!! I tried to spell check it in Word and everything...never came up even saying I had spelled it wrong. I knew it was wrong but there was no way I could figure out how to spell it. THANKFULLY my mother is the most amazing spell check I have. Dumb computers. Haha just kidding. Just had to tell the story cause I'm not that dumb...haha...just my computer is. :)

It's Called Common Curtosy

2009-02-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

For the Love! So I am TOTALLY annoyed. Quite frankly--I think I have all right to be. Saturday I put my laundry through the wash and then in the dryer. It was about 10:30 at night when I put it through the dryer. Now, the dryer doesn't work so hot so you have to put clothes in for about 100 minutes--jeans take longer. I left Sunday morning at about 8:30 to go to a homecoming. I came home and my WET clothes were on the kitchen table. Ok...if they are wet still...add time on the dryer. It's called Common Curtosy. I have done that every time someone else's laundry is in there and wet I put it through again. I can wait to do laundry. Just because one shirt is cry does not mean the jeans are. I had three pairs of jeans in there and of course no one would check that. It would be too hard!

Yesterday I took a drive to the Mt. Timpanogas temple. I decided I needed some destress time. I parked in front of the temple and it was raining so I sat there listening to the rain hit the hood of my car and just looked at the temple. AMAZING! My two calming sounds are rain hitting windows, tents, or a car and the snow. I know the snow falling doesn't really have a sound...but yet it does. This morning its snowing again and I got to work a little early so I walked slowly to my office--partially so I wouldn't fall--but just to be able to listen to the snow. It was really fun. When I got home I wanted to turn around and go back cause the tension you can cut with a knife. We are spilt. 3 don't care about anyone or anything. 1 doesn't talk to anyone. 3 are just trying to make things work --I'm in this group-- and 1 just tries to get through the day okay. So it is deffinetly a soap opera. Not cool. Why do girl's have to be so drama oriented? Honestly...I am not a fan. Oh well. I think I'll just enjoy the temple. I'll be going there pretty often.

I hope everyone is having a great day!

The Ice Never Ends--and other funny stories

2009-02-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I thought I could give GG back her ice shoe things. I had them in my car to give to her when I went to Salem, but forgot. No big, I'll just go back tomorrow-I thought. Well, last night, being the good girl that I am, I went to institute. I got out of my car, took one step and then next thing I knew I was in pain, the air was knocked out of me and I was flat on my back. A girl had seen the whole thing and she rushed over with her boyfriend. (Sure damsel in distress with a taken guy...not fun!) I had hit my knee, my hip, my back and my head. I am NOT a fan of black ice. In fact, I am not a fan of walking. I think I need a wheel chair. I've decided that I'm falling apart--I am losing my memory (the light thing is way too much) and now I'm not even able to walk by myself. Maybe I should go to an assisted living. But I am okay. Sore, but okay. I iced everything pretty good. Sitting on a bag of frozen peas looks really funny. My knee is a little tender and and my thigh hurts a little but there is always good news...MY BACK DOESN'T HURT!!! Yeah! So that's a good thing. I was really nervous about that. I am no longer parking in the institue parking lot or walking on the south end of campus...that is where it all has happened. 5 times I didn't fall but caught myself and that's how I hurt my back and once I fell and hmmmmm. I don't think ice and I get along...and the worst part of it...I'm in Utah so the ice never ends...well maybe in April or May but I could be in a body cast by then! Maybe I'm gonna have to invest in some of those ice shoes...they might save my life. To think, my life depends on two small rubber things that has spike! Oh no...spikes! We know how accident prone I am. This could be a problem. What if I put them on wrong I could put spikes straight through my foot...or what if it slips out of my hand...my eyes! I need a nice purple padded room-- that is my safety net. I wonder if those padded rooms even come in purple.

Oh so...here's an annoying story. I had a roommate and she moved in a couple weeks ago to one of the single rooms. Her and I were to share a bathroom. I get home one day and my shower curtain is thrown away and my bathroom rug is also in the dumpster. She has put in a black rug and black shower curtain. Okay, fine whatever. Not that big of a deal. Well, she just got engaged and was getting ready to move out. I walk into the bathroom and my towels are gone! She is having a girl come over to look at the apartment so she took my towels and threw them in another bathroom, moved everything around in the kitchen putting food that should be refridgerated in the cupboards and cups in the oven and other crazy things. I was looking for my towels and she's all "Oh sorry. I just needed everything to match and your towels aren't black. I'll put them back later." Needless to say I put them in my room. YesterdayI got back from class and went into the bathroom and the shower curtain is gone and the rug. She moved out apparently. Now I have to go get another shower curtain because she threw my other one away. Honestly--roommates means that there is more than one of you. Respect people! Respect! It's like the other roommate I have you didn't like my bowls so she threw them away. HELLO! Honestly. Sometimes, not a fan of the whole roommate thing. I live with 8 girls and sometimes I think it's worst then the 15 I lived with in Thatcher. Oh man oh man oh man. What is a girl to do? Get married and move out. But the guys here are never prepared. They have the priesthood but they aren't prepared (remember the jumper cable insident...yeah that's the one I'm talking about.)

Oh here's a good one. So...there I am sitting on the couch. A three cushion couch with my notebook and my blanket doing some homework. Nathan (next door neighbor) knocks and walks in. He then comes and sits next to me...like on half my cushion and half on the other...and I roll my eyes and continue with my homework. He keeps trying to talk to me but I either ignore the questions or give one word answers. This may seem very rude but you have to understand. You know in that movie Single Ward? The creepy guy who says "So...what's your tribe." Okay well that is this kid. So he's sitting next to me (very much in my bubble) and I'm ignoring him. At one point his phone rings so he leaves. I finish my homework and turn on the TV. He comes in and says "Did you miss me?" My answer? "Didn't even notice you were gone." He laughed. He's one of those guys that thinks the rejection is a joke and that you're just trying to be funny. Nope...wasn't trying. I watched a little of the newscast and then I grabbed my blanket and said "Turn off the TV when you leave." And I left. He just sat there for a second and I heard him say "Um...okay." Heehee I thought it was really funny. Maybe that's why I'm not getting any dates. But if they're scary I'm sorry....not doing that.

What to know the newest craze with college students? Sleeping over. Not girls sleeping over at girls but girls and guys sleeping over with each other. They're not dating they just watch movies late and sleep over at each other's houses. What?? Are you kidding? Hmmm...don't really know what to think about that. I like sleeping in my own room, in my own bed, with only my female roommate in there. Yep, that works for me.

Car Troubles Part 2

2009-02-04T14:53:00.000-08:00

I really need that nifty beeping thing...I DID IT AGAIN!! Oh my hannah. So I am waiting for my roommate to come and jump my car b/c "class is about to start I can't" or "I don't have jumper cables" are the usual responses. Luckily the outside of campus has wireless so I'm chilling in my car (actually its hot in here to tell the truth) and blogging...because well...this has become my new favorite thing:) I'm thinking as soon as my car does get jumped I'm finding me an Ace Hardeare and oh I don't know, maybe invest in some jumper cables. Every in this parking lot has a battery--I'm sure thing would be a lot easier. So Sunday night I realized my dashboard lights are out. Today I think I finally put two and two together. I must have a fuse out and that is why there is no beeping...hmmmmm...now that I know what a fuse it and how to change it I just might be able to make some changes. So that's a start---but I'm still planning on doing the neon like with voice alarm...that is really the only way to go. Oh this could be even funnier. So imagine it with me...you are in the WalMart parking lot on a Saturday (why you are there on a saturday means you are crazy but it helps the story(!)) and you are walking up to the store when suddenly you hear "Hello! You left your keys in the ignition!" or "Forget something? Your lights are on!" Since the sun is out you can't really see the neon lights but man oh man you can see the owner of the car...red faced and all! LOL (I am litterally laughing out loud in my car...luckily my windows are tinted. lol) Maybe the whole voice alarm isn't a good idea...well I think I'll still invent it--it just won't be on my car. I turn red easily enough. But I guess it should be positive--"Hey gorgeous. If you wanna make it on your date you're gonna need to turn your lights off." "Handsome, you'll never pick her up--you left your keys in the ignition." Hmmmm I'm thinking a book is in the works:)

Car Troubles

2009-02-04T10:25:00.000-08:00

So...Friday night I had left my car lights on. Not the coolest of all things. I spent 30 minutes in the parking lot asking all the guys that came out of institute if they had jumper cables...NOPE! Not one out of the 10 guys had jumper cables. Then this girl came out and, yes the girl, had jumper cables. Honestly! How am I supposed to be the damsel in distress with a really cute RM coming out of institute if they don't have jumper cables? Hmmm...I think this should be a talk in priesthood session "Always Carry Jumper Cables if You Want to Get Married." Haha just kidding...no actually I'm not. Haha. So I finally got my car started. Well, now not turning my lights off has become a habit. Sunday I was at GG's house and I did it again...but guess what...NO JUMPER CABLES! haha. Luckily Gpa had a battery charger because his jumper cables were in the truck which was in the shop, Chris' were in his truck at his house...luckily we had the battery charger. Hmmmm...I used to have the habit of leaving my keys in my car, not it's not turning off my lights. I really think I just need a new car. You know the one that has the lights on automatically and turn off themselves? Like mom's Envoy. I'm thinking the X-Terra. They're really nice. Too bad that Nissan buy one get one free expired. I really think I could've done some good with that...with the help of GG and Gpa getting a new car as well of course:) Just kidding GG...I would never!
I do have to say I am amazing though with my car. The other week I finally was able to install my radio in my car (after not very nice people stole it when I was on the mission.) I was going to just take it to Best Buy to see if someone would do it for me--but then looking at all the pretty colored wires I figured I could do it. It took my 4 hours and 2 blown out fuses...but I did it all by myself:) I know can install radios and change fuses. Yeah, I'm pretty much amazing to say the least. Maybe next time I'll remember to put electrical tape on the wires so I don't burn out fuses and now I know the way to install the radio so it won't take me quite as long next time. Actually there better not be a next time. Maybe I'll do it for a friend if they get a new one.
My car is doing well though...not more transmission problems. I have to be grateful for that. Luckily it's too cold in Utah right now for the car to have problems. Now I just have to learn to turn off my lights. My car doesn't have the nifty beeping noice...or does it? I should probably look into that. I know it does if I leave my keys in...oh wait...that hasn't saved me before. Okay, maybe I just need a louder nifty beeping thing. Or neon lights that go off in my car if the lights or keys are left in. I'm gonna be rich...I can't be the only girl in the world that does this. I'm gonna invent it. In fact, there has to be some guy out there too who does the same thing. Yep, that's the new idea. Neon lights that are like an alarm system in the car. You leave the lights on or keys in they go off crazy like--it would be really pretty with purple and pink but of course we could go manly with blue and green. Maybe even add lazers--ooooh dad could help me with that--and maybe even add the voice that says "Turn of your Lights!" or "Hello! The keys are in the ignition!"or "Maryn! You're an idiot!" Something of the like. We'll see haha

Not very good at this yet

2009-02-03T05:22:00.000-08:00

I realize I'm not very good at the whole blogging thing...this is probably because I'm not very good at the whole journal thing either. But...I have to start sometime:) After a long and horrible 2 weeks with the chiropractor I am not able to move with out pain. Quite frankly I am not a fan of lower back problem. I had slipped on the ice 4 times!!! It was one of those moments where you should just let herself fall, but instead to try to catch yourself and for some reason the lower back always has issues with you trying to stay on your feet. Needless to say I had one weekend where I could barely move. But now I'm up and moving again. I still need to take it easy of course, but my Pilates and power toning classes are helping.
Last night I went to the opening night of "Little Women" in which Alexis played Beth. She was so good! She has such an amazing voice and just looks so comfortable on the stage. The weirdest part was when Beth dies, man was Lexi good. Probably the best death I have seen. Just kidding Lexi! But in all reality she was amazing. I love watching her perform, she is amazing. My family is so talented! My mom is amazing with the crafts and scrapbooking, I could look at those scrapbooks over and over. Kelsey has quite the gift of culinary skills and school...I mean she actually likes Math! GG is the dancer and I can't wait to watch her on Thursday at the Utah Jazz vs Dallas Mavericks basketball game. Brianne and Mickenna have a game tonight. It's really fun to watch them play. My dad is absolutely amazing with being bishop, project manager, and fixing up the house. I wish I could be around to watch Madison. I'm sure she is just blowing the doctors with her recovery. Gheen is the best at taking pictures. I have so much fun walking around their house looking at all their pictures. Mandee is another scrapbooker that I love watching. I love my family! They are amazing and wonderful examples. I can't help but smile everytime I think of any of them. I love all of them. And of course I love saying that I am the oldest of 34 (with Grace and Bradeigh) grandkids. A feat I absolutely love!! Both sides of my family are absolutely amazing and they just keep on growing!

The World of Blogging

2009-01-23T20:07:00.000-08:00

Well, the day I got the e-mail from Tyler and Ethan I decided that I did not want to be in the "loser" crowd when it comes to blogging. (Thanks Bri:)) I think most of my family has a blog and well, I'm usually right on top of the hip stuff...but boy have I been in last place on the blog. Crazy times. Not to much has happened actually. I have been pretty much laid up in bed this weekend due to a cold and a back injury. But today I went to pilates and absolutely loved it!!!! So much fun. Everyone should take part:) You'll love it...I promise! Well, I have power toning in the morning and work so I think this will call it quits for the first post of the unique world of maresy:)